twin

So I’ve been nursing this thing on my face for merely 2 weeks now and its not getting any better. Its so frustrating! I don’t want to leave home and just stay under our blanket til it goes away. But I can’t! 😦

Today, I finally caved-in and booked an appointment to see my doctor. And I hope and wish she brings good news to me that it’ll be gone in 2 days 😦 I am desparate! As of right now, I just want to exchange heads with a pig or something!

*sigh* kill me now!!! 😦 waaaaaaaahhhhh!!!! I feel so fucking ugly!!!

sick again :'(

why?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! he was doing perfectly fine! and when i reached home, thursday night from work, he already had a high fever. its possibly he got it from his daddy (my poor big baby is sick with flu and was diagnosed with brochitis–this broke my heart soooo bad!). athan’s fever has been unpredictable, 38’s to 39’s. then i used a different method–undressing him. within the 24 hours his temperature has been lower than 38 but never reached 39. now, he’s just feverish (36’s); but has no voice 😦 he’s been crying a lot and i have been too while he’s asleep. he’s been getting sleep every hour and would wake up crying “mama, daddy, up, door, milk, water, pliiis (please) and no-no-no” *sigh* i’ve pack our emergency bag just in case i have to mission myself to sick kids anytime. am not hoping for that episode again but i want to be ready.

 

being a mom is hard! who would’ve thought my baby would be sick again in a span of two weeks. *sigh* LORD, please make him feel better. just it to me, i dont care! i just dont want him to feel any pain at all.

 

anyhow, i have to nurse my big baby while my little one is resting. please pray for my men.

helpless

this morning I was informed that tatay (my grandfather) is in the icu. He had another stroke 😦 right minute I felt so helpless. As much as I wanted to go home, we know that there is no way I can afford it. *sigh* my prayers will be the only thing that will do, aside from sending some money for the hospital costs.

I’ve been praying na sana habaan pa buhay ng lolo and lola ko. I want to see them for our next year’s trip back home. I want them to meet their greatgrand child(ren). And my inay’s only wish is for them to see me get married. She has been waiting for a wedding invitation. Pag nakakakusap ko pa sila they would always ask me kung kailan uwi namin. Oh how I wish it was that quick to just pack and go.

😦 now I miss them more terribly! Hope my prayers will work as much as the others did.

things differently

just a few days ago I was going thru old pictures at my multiply account. And it made me miss those days. I want to be able to do all those again. The spontaneous drives, hard core shopping, lavish dinning.

I know I can still do that now, it’ll be just diffrent. I have to plan everything ahead, research about the place if its safe for baby, whether these restaurants has baby changing tables, stoller access, do these malls have the family washrooms. Not to mention pack a luggage (it was just a hand-carry before).

I’ve survived the chicago trip last year and had a great time. But this summer will be diffrent! We’re flying to seattle and vancouver! I’ve not travelled by plane for about 10 years now. And I am a terrible plane passenger–air sick! But I’ve survived a couple of flights with a help of Bonamine (but like I said, that was ages ago). And I tend to sleep althroughout the trip so I wouldn’t even think of being air sick! But this summer, I can’t do that. I have a baby that needs me. I have to think about his ear pops! The constant crying and our safety! Thinking about it now gives me an anxiety attack! I know I can do it! And it’ll be easier this time *hopes so*. Well, I’ve got 7 more months to plan this trip! I am excited yet terrified!

Wish me luck!