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“irresponsible!”

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twin

So I’ve been nursing this thing on my face for merely 2 weeks now and its not getting any better. Its so frustrating! I don’t want to leave home and just stay under our blanket til it goes away. But I can’t! 😦

Today, I finally caved-in and booked an appointment to see my doctor. And I hope and wish she brings good news to me that it’ll be gone in 2 days 😦 I am desparate! As of right now, I just want to exchange heads with a pig or something!

*sigh* kill me now!!! 😦 waaaaaaaahhhhh!!!! I feel so fucking ugly!!!

sick again :'(

why?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! he was doing perfectly fine! and when i reached home, thursday night from work, he already had a high fever. its possibly he got it from his daddy (my poor big baby is sick with flu and was diagnosed with brochitis–this broke my heart soooo bad!). athan’s fever has been unpredictable, 38’s to 39’s. then i used a different method–undressing him. within the 24 hours his temperature has been lower than 38 but never reached 39. now, he’s just feverish (36’s); but has no voice 😦 he’s been crying a lot and i have been too while he’s asleep. he’s been getting sleep every hour and would wake up crying “mama, daddy, up, door, milk, water, pliiis (please) and no-no-no” *sigh* i’ve pack our emergency bag just in case i have to mission myself to sick kids anytime. am not hoping for that episode again but i want to be ready.

 

being a mom is hard! who would’ve thought my baby would be sick again in a span of two weeks. *sigh* LORD, please make him feel better. just it to me, i dont care! i just dont want him to feel any pain at all.

 

anyhow, i have to nurse my big baby while my little one is resting. please pray for my men.

helpless

this morning I was informed that tatay (my grandfather) is in the icu. He had another stroke 😦 right minute I felt so helpless. As much as I wanted to go home, we know that there is no way I can afford it. *sigh* my prayers will be the only thing that will do, aside from sending some money for the hospital costs.

I’ve been praying na sana habaan pa buhay ng lolo and lola ko. I want to see them for our next year’s trip back home. I want them to meet their greatgrand child(ren). And my inay’s only wish is for them to see me get married. She has been waiting for a wedding invitation. Pag nakakakusap ko pa sila they would always ask me kung kailan uwi namin. Oh how I wish it was that quick to just pack and go.

😦 now I miss them more terribly! Hope my prayers will work as much as the others did.

soooooo pissed!

Its my first time missing my baby’s doctor’s appointment. And its all because of *****!

I swear, I’ll never ask him anymore! I just don’t know when he’s joking or not!

Panginis talaga! Sa sobrang galit ko sa kanya di ako kumain on time! As in ganon ako kagalit! I go all day without a single rice! Halos mangiyak-ngiyak ako sa galit and disappointment dahil ni minsan hindi ako nag missed out ng kahit anong appointment ng anak ko! Hay! But am thankful that John is there for his appointment. But I don’t know how it wenr kasi nasa work pa ako.

He suppose to have his mmr. I don’t know how that went. I can’t even think how that whole shot scene went knowing John is petrified with needles (sorry babe, I had to let the world know…am being emo). *sigh*

love-hate (take 2) *sigh*

Had a big fight. Its my fault partially… *sigh*
I just can’t tell him what, because it hurts me too.
Everyday am wishing we could’ve done THIS the way we’ve been planned. But there are some things that just doesn’t go as planned.

Despite of the things that’s been going on now and since then, I don’t regret it. It has been hard for me and I know it is for him too. But we’ve got each other and our little one to keep us grounded and together that will (hopefully) bind us stronger and forever.

Right now, it just hurts so much and I feel like I have no one to cry on. But I have my son to hug and he’ll take my pain away bits by bits.