So I’ve been nursing this thing on my face for merely 2 weeks now and its not getting any better. Its so frustrating! I don’t want to leave home and just stay under our blanket til it goes away. But I can’t! 😦

Today, I finally caved-in and booked an appointment to see my doctor. And I hope and wish she brings good news to me that it’ll be gone in 2 days 😦 I am desparate! As of right now, I just want to exchange heads with a pig or something!

*sigh* kill me now!!! 😦 waaaaaaaahhhhh!!!! I feel so fucking ugly!!!



so I’ve said so many times that I’ll try and update more often; but I don’t think it’ll happen. I’ve been busy with Athan and work and whole lot other things that being sick isn’tart of the agenda anymore.

Anyhow, my lil’ Athan is now 16 months (3 days) today. He’s been great. Though he’s got colds and cough (blame it on the weather). He’s been so talkative and very active to the point where going to church and hear the mass is impossible. Yeah! Its been crazy with him but good crazy! 🙂 in fact, kulit means healthy! LOL!

John on the other hand, he’s doing such a great job with our son. It’s just the bathing part! I can’t complain–ok maybe I complain here and there but I appreciate everything he does. Though at times needs more effort. LOL! He gets B+ most of the time hehehe!

As for me, exhausted from work but coming home to your son with a huge smile and widely opens his arms to hug you simply eases the exhaustion away. And I am glad that am not those type of working mom where you go home with a sleeping baby already. That will breaky heart badly and would probably quit work! My heart is for my family an am doing my best to provide them with everything they need everyday.

Okay…. laundry time!

at home…

i called in today. i am in pain. i hate it! then again, i should be thankful. please excuse me, am just being pissy *pmsing*.

everytime i call in i had to think twice. you know, work plus extra work you get when you missed a day. ayaw kong napagiiwanan, kaya minsan i stay a bit longer just to catch up. buti na lang on friday i stayed a bit to clean off my inboxes (yes, i have 2! see how crazy that is). hopefully, it wont be crazy today and tomorrow when i get back. i needed to get some bed rest. but Athan’s been keeping me on my feet. that’s fine with me, the joys of being a mother cannot compare with your ass being glued on the chair for 8 hours straight!

anyhow, thought i’d blog and update. i’ve been busy ready other’s posts and it lead me here. back then, i had writing journals and id blab just about everything and anything. but since my baby came, it all had to be an online journal. i still have my old journals. am thinking of writing again, write poets again, take pics again and paint again. i need an outlet other than yoga. though, when i paint, gusto ko ako lang. i don’t like it when others see me work on a painting. it makes me nervous, seriously. i’ve had few paintings that’s hanged (at my mama and papa’s house in mississauga) and i’ve got 3-4 here in toronto all in the basement 😦 i dont want to put it up since its not our own place. but it wont stop me from squeezing out my creative juices! 🙂 i have this photo rendered already all i need is the perfect paint and TIME! siguro sa long weekend.

*sigh* sana may house na kami.


anyhow, gotta put my hot pouch on my tumtum 😦


ps… i know i promised photo updates. soon!

sick again :'(

why?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! he was doing perfectly fine! and when i reached home, thursday night from work, he already had a high fever. its possibly he got it from his daddy (my poor big baby is sick with flu and was diagnosed with brochitis–this broke my heart soooo bad!). athan’s fever has been unpredictable, 38’s to 39’s. then i used a different method–undressing him. within the 24 hours his temperature has been lower than 38 but never reached 39. now, he’s just feverish (36’s); but has no voice 😦 he’s been crying a lot and i have been too while he’s asleep. he’s been getting sleep every hour and would wake up crying “mama, daddy, up, door, milk, water, pliiis (please) and no-no-no” *sigh* i’ve pack our emergency bag just in case i have to mission myself to sick kids anytime. am not hoping for that episode again but i want to be ready.


being a mom is hard! who would’ve thought my baby would be sick again in a span of two weeks. *sigh* LORD, please make him feel better. just it to me, i dont care! i just dont want him to feel any pain at all.


anyhow, i have to nurse my big baby while my little one is resting. please pray for my men.


this morning I was informed that tatay (my grandfather) is in the icu. He had another stroke 😦 right minute I felt so helpless. As much as I wanted to go home, we know that there is no way I can afford it. *sigh* my prayers will be the only thing that will do, aside from sending some money for the hospital costs.

I’ve been praying na sana habaan pa buhay ng lolo and lola ko. I want to see them for our next year’s trip back home. I want them to meet their greatgrand child(ren). And my inay’s only wish is for them to see me get married. She has been waiting for a wedding invitation. Pag nakakakusap ko pa sila they would always ask me kung kailan uwi namin. Oh how I wish it was that quick to just pack and go.

😦 now I miss them more terribly! Hope my prayers will work as much as the others did.


we just came from jonathan’s doctor. she said he’s got the bronchiolitis. it should go away by itself (in fact, it came by itself—kinda!). i was so worried last night upon coming home I was welcomed with “may sinat na naman si jonathan” i wanted to cry right there and then. no, I had to be strong but my heart was broken into pieces. i thought he was getting better 😦 *sigh* he had no appetite either.

then last night, i broke down while he was asleep. i just had to let that out of my system. and I prayed sooooo hard. today after our visit to the doctor, we went to church. it feels good to visit HIM and just talk.

*sigh* tonight i think i’ll be able to sleep well enough because this time i know what’s up and my baby will be better.

thank you LORD!